#1: What's with the fascination over Hi-5? My baby cousins ranging from age 1 to 5 are constantly glued to the tv with the Hi-5 dvd playing and replaying and re-replaying. I am so sick of seeing and hearing that now. And the girls wear such short skirts! How can that be healthy educational stuff? Whatever happened to good old Sesame Street? And ermmm.... Teletubbies (I actually liked them haha)? My cousins don't even know what they are. There definitely is a generation gap between me and them. And oh, it's interesting to note that the Sesame Street song was played on Mambo night in Zouk yesterday. I was like 'huh?-what-song-is-this?' and 'OMG-Sesame-Street?!'. And all the old foggies like me got so excited hearing the song it was embarrassing.
#2: It never fails to amaze me, with all the endless whinings around me in Singapore on the exorbitant car prices and road usage costs, I see more cars on the roads, bigger and newer ones too. I don't see as many BMWs (we're talking 5 series and above), SLKs, CLKs and Lexus in Sydney even though they probably cost about one third (or slightly more) the price of what you would get in Singapore. These luxury cars have become as common on the roads here as my Mitsubishi Lancer. Where did all these people get their money from? And why whinge if you willingly pour all your money upgrading your cars fully aware of all the costs involved?
#3: All my little friends seem to have grown up. Naijiz is now a working class slave whose time belongs to the company now and because of that he has put me aeroplane 2x and owes me a dinner treat. Hansen has grown taller, lost all his baby fats and has a more angular face now. Bamboohorse is preparing to step into the workforce and become another slave, and he was actually 99% sober (like me) after Mambo-ing at Zouk until 3am last night. I feel like an obasan now.
#4: I just went to the kindy school 2 blocks away to pick my 3.5 year old monkey cousin. When she was born, I had mistakenly believed she was my niece because of the 24 years age gap. It was quite a boo-boo that had my mum and aunties laughing at me for a long time. Picking her up from school was a strange experience for me. The teacher opening the classroom door. All the kids peering out the door to identify their mums/maids/guardians. My cousin, initially shocked cos she didn't see my mum. The look of relief when she saw a familiar face - me. My embarrassment when she shouted excitedly "Ah Jac jie jie! Ah Jac jie jie!" and everyone turned to look. Her little hand holding on tightly to my big hand. My concious effort to walk slowly (her 3 steps are equivalent to 1 of mine). Getting all nervous and protective like a mother chicken when crossing the road. The difficulty of finding things to talk to her about in the 7min we took to walk home. All these were so new to me. It was quite heartwarming yet frightening. I don't think I am ready to be a mother yet. But I'm happy to be a super cool big cousin sister the little monkey is proud to show off to all. She says in mandarin "my Ah Jac jie jie is very beautiful!".
#5: Haozi, the little boy my mum looked after since he was 1 month old is now 19! I changed his diapers and fanned him to sleep throughout his growing years. He treats my mum as his second mum and me as his real sis. He msned me on the rare few occasions I was online in Sydney but I never had the time to reply him. He just messaged me again after seeing my nickname 'Monkeycrab @Singapore' online: "Jie, you're back! Dinner dinner dinner!". "You still always go clubbing ah? Don't always drink leh." I am touched. I realise I am super popular and well liked by all the little ones. But please, I am not a paedophile ok! They are all my little brothers and sisters.
random observations
enlightenment
reporting my loot
Shopped with Yen-yen today. Sale sale sale everywhere! My spoils: 
The best buys were the $9 tops. Everything in that shop was going at $9 - tops, skirts, jeans, dresses. But... no trying. So I had to grab the largest size and discovered when I got home that I cannot fit in either of them. Disappointed. I gave them to my bro's girlfriend. Bleah. (btw, the shop is Future State at Far East Plaza) And you probably can't see the $24 tops very clearly, the black and red tops, the back is actually one big hole haha. Now I just have to hunt for a decent pair of shoes to complete my cny collection.
Oh and Yen-yen treated me to MOS burger. I like the corn soup there so much lor.
old chang kee vs ya kun
Had japanese curry with tudi, rae and bamboohorse at Curry Favour along Stamford Road on sunday. All the different curries tasted the same to me. Good thing was we had the entire restaurant to ourselves so no one was frightened by my tudi's and rae's shrieks of surprise when their phantom chioest shifu showed up. Here's all of us! (I have mosaic-fied mysterious Rae's face)
Because I kept whining about how long I haven't had Ya Kun's eggs, the brought me to Funan IT Mall specially for them. I got distracted by Old Chang Kee and the Hippo Tours bus along the way. I stood staring at the curry puffs for a good few minutes before deciding I really had no spare space for more food.
The eggs are yummy as ever!
Also met up with Joy and Yen for chilli crabs, butter prawns, fish maw soup, fried tofu and sambal kangkong on saturday evening. I screamed when I realised I forgot to take pics of the food. We had gobbled them up like a bunch of hungry ghosts and forgot everything else.
And they weren't kidding when they said Singapore is overcrowded... my first train and bus experiences here after so long (7 years of driving here meant I didn't get to take public transport much) were quite scary. But I must say the trains and buses here are so new! So clean! And all air conditioned!
confession
Here's my confession: actually... I'm now back in Singapore. Arrived on 25 Jan and will be here for 3 weeks.
There were a lot of secret operations hence the hush-hush on my arrival. Project Dragonfly failed cos bamboohorse' face wasn't big enough to get Logan, Victor and Naijiz down. Project F.Turae (go figure) was a tremendous success! Spent an entire day with tudi and rae and almost burst my stomach eating.
Here are some tit-grabbing photos taken at MOS upon touch down on 25 Jan (that was the reason for the 24hours of no sleep in the previous entry, now you know...). More photos here.
24 hours
I went without sleep for 24 hours on friday. Woke at 8am (for the benefit of my SG readers, this is Sydney time) for work. Left work at 3pm to catch my *beep*. Went clubbing at 2am. Supper (or maybe I should say breakfast) at 6.30am. Got home at 8am. Tried to watch Bleach episode 155 on a big ass 32 inch pc monitor and fell asleep half way.
ps: as there are a lot of hush-hush conspiracies going on at the moment, I will only post the photos taken and update on details after tomorrow. 'P-Dragonfly' was an absolute failure due to the boys' uncooperativeness (bleah lor!) but the final scheme - 'P-F.turae' will be carried out tomorrow so sshhh...
chris' pet cocoon
nah! here is the picture I wanted to share yesterday.
I just did a quick interview with Chris:
me: eh eh eh? u remember that ugly worm-like thing u found?
chris: ya. y?
me: so... where did you find it ah? I forgot.
chris: oh... in my room.
me: your bedroom?! which part of your room??? (thinking eeeeyer... y would there be such worm things in your room?)
chris: near my bed...
me: (interrupts) har!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!
chris: no no actually it's near the wall that's near the bed
me: so still near the bed la. okok anyways what is it ah?
chris: it's a baby moth still in the cocoon.
me: how u know?
chris: I kept the cocoon thing until it 'hatched'
me: ?!?! wah u mean kept it like a pet ah?
chris: ya and I saw a baby moth fly out of the cocoon. and it's green.
me: GREEN?!
chris: ya i even have a video of it learning how to fly at first.
me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. must send me the picture and video hor then I post on my blog.
ps: today is THE day. can't sit still. those who know why... sshhhhhhhh...........
my portable hdd
Arrrrgh! I just realised I left my portable hard disk drive (hdd) in the office. I feel really handicapped. I can do without a mobile phone nowadays but definitely not without 1. my laptop, 2. my portable hdd and 3. internet access. These 3 things can keep me entertained for days on end without me seeing any need to step out of the house.
People may ask, why the big deal? It's just for a night. It'll still be there when I go to work in the morning. Only 1 night of misery without access to the stuff stored inside. Well, there have been horror stories of my colleagues losing things in the office, even stuff they carefully ensure are locked up. I dread to think how I would react if I can't see my hdd tomorrow. Someone strong will probably need to restrain me from killing myself. Ahhhhhhh how can I be so careless!
So, you may wonder what's in my hdd? There are all my movies, jap dramas, anime, mp3s, etc. I can always go download them again or beg and borrow from my friends if these are gone. The important stuff's actually the photos. All my photos taken in the last 3 years are stored inside. The only backups I have are those nicer ones I posted on my multiply site. I am never one who backs up stuff on dvds or such cos I'll just end up losing them anyway.
Furthermore, being alone in a foreign land, I tend to browse my photo folder rather frequently and smile/frown/curse/tear/laugh-out-loud as I indulge myself in walks down the lane of bittersweet memories. What will I do without them???
Today I had wanted to post a picture of this wriggly worm-like cocoon thing Chris Tanpuyani found in his apartment (or car I can't remember). It was taken a while back but I had forgotten all about it til I chanced upon the pic this afternoon. Now I'm really irritated by my own negligence cos I couldn't do what I had looked forward to doing since this afternoon - to share this gross looking thing with everyone out there. *pulls hair*
the big move
I posted my virgin blog entry in my virgin blog at moblog on 24 Aug 05.
I can't remember what prompted me to start blogging. Or why I chose moblog instead of blogger or any other platform.
It's been a great 2 years and almost 5 months with moblog and the best part of it was getting to know my favourite tudi littlegeo. Through her, I got introduced to the wonderful world of maplestory and got to know my dearest bamboohorse and so many others. They have since become the people I cannot imagine living without. Running to tudi in the middle of the night to eat nissin chilli crab cup noodles at a desserted void deck and rattling away the omfgwtfbbqpwnz..... string of creative vulgarities with bamboohorse at the Eastside entrance remain some of my fondest memories.
Although I've actually had a blogger account since Aug 06 (as you can see from my blogger profile), I've never really thought much about migrating here until recently. I just happened to stumble upon this tips-for-new-bloggers blog one day and started fooling around with the html codes on blogger. I had so much fun customising my blog that I decided to make the big move. And so. I'm here now!
I even had the chance to put my amateurish photoshop skills to some use - check out the blog header I created from the below photos I took when I first came to Sydney.
Taken during the March 2006 Mardi Gras parade in Sydney.
Taken in Nov 2007 when I went on a road trip to Central Coast from Sydney.
So so so. My photoshop skills ok la hor?
a whole new world for the NCPs
[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now.]
I cannot figure this out.
A particular someone, [let's call him disgruntled nincompoop (D.NCP)], submitted a request through a website and this request got channelled to a central database that is checked regularly by an admin staff (AS) who then sorts all such requests received and directs them to the relevant person to handle them.
D.NCP's request was sent by AS to me. I required additional information from D.NCP and sent him an email.
More than 2 weeks later, D.NCP submitted another request through the same website and got his request channelled to the same central database that was checked by the same AS who then directed the request to me:
"Someone from your company sent me an email mentioning about the lack of information to process my request. Can you get that someone to tell me what exactly you require?"
1. This D.NCP obviously did not know there is such a function called "reply" for emails received such that you can reach the sender directly instead of submitting another request through the same website so that his request can then be channelled to the same central database that will get checked by the same AS who will then direct it to the same person who emailed him.
2. Or it could be that this D.NCP enjoyed sending his requests through the same website so that his requests can then be channelled to the same central database that will get checked by the same AS who will then direct the requests to the same person who will eventually handle them.
3. Or it could be that this D.NCP feels that by sending his requests through the same website so that his requests can then be channelled to the same central database that will get checked by the same AS who will then direct the requests to the same person who will eventually handle them, he is helping the organisation find reasons for the existence of having such a website and such a central database and hiring such an AS, ie. job creation.
And it is precisely these kinds of people such as D.NCP who ultimately complain about the time taken for them to receive a response to their requests such that they have to send in another and another request, and eventually complaint after complaint, through the same website where they get channelled to the same central database that will then get checked by the same AS who will then direct them to the relevant person handling them.
So what does this all mean to me?
I get the pleasure of:
1. Spending time to read through the D.NCP's first request, gather the info required to be able to process the request, and then draft a reply to D.NCP; and
2. Spending time to read through a second request from D.NCP and drafting a second reply that is exactly the same as the first (or I can spend time searching through my archive emails to find that first email to send to him) and send it to D.NCP; and
3. Spending time to read through his subsequent complaints and explain to D.NCP why we take so long to respond to him without hurting his feelings because I cannot just tell him in the face the real reason was because of his fuucking stupidity (not knowing how to hit the "reply" button on the email to get to the sender directly) and/or his sadism (the enjoyment he derives seeing people double-work) and/or his unwelcome consideration for the organisation's and its staff's well-being (by providing reasons for their existence); and
4. Spending time wondering if it was just me or is everyone else around me absolutely stupid; and
5. Spending time convincing myself no, it's not me; and
6. Spending time calming AS and explaining to her the importance of her role in the organisation such that she has to waste such unnecessary time on people such as D.NCP; and
7. Spending time wondering if I can just create a whole new world and banish all such stupid and irritating people like D.NCP to this whole new world exclusively for NCPs and then come to a sudden realisation that no, it's not possible and that yes, I've got to continue taking such shite from these NCPs; and
8. Spending more time trying to get myself out of depression mode arising from the sudden realisation that #7 is not going to happen; and
9. Hence more time spend on doing unnecessary stuff like typing this uber long stupid entry that doesn't make much sense except maybe to the D.NCP.
This is on top of having to work with people who take 10 seconds to type "Can you please delete this column and this row from this spreadsheet and send it back to me?" and another 10 minutes for the email to reach me, for me to make the change, then send it back to him - a total of 10 minutes and 10 seconds spent and maybe 10.49 joules of energy, than to just spend 5 seconds to delete this column and this row from this spreadsheet and about 5.63 joules of energy.
You can bet to your last dollar I really enjoy working here.
chocolate
[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now.]
While I still have not gotten my appetite back and am still on the vegetarian porridge diet... I had this huge, immense, monstrous craving for chocolate last night. Two Mars bars, one freddo the frog milk chocolate, one ego caramel Magnum ice cream and one quarter tub of chocolate ice cream failed to satisfy me. Today I got myself a big fat slab of Cadbury dairy milk chocolate, the biggest slab you can ever find on the shelves in a supermarket, and I gorged it all down at one go, all twenty (or fifteen?) rows of five (or six?) one by one cm squares of chocolate. (by the time any thoughts of blogging it for the records came to my mind, there was nothing left for me to count the rows and columns of squares of delicious chocolate I had consumed and nothing for me to estimate the amount too as I had, in my haste to devour the sinful thing, ravaged the wrapper so badly you can't tell how big the actual original size of the complete slab had been.) I feel quite sick now. Another square of it and I'll definitely merlion at the sacred porcelain bowl for the rest of the night.
To my stomach: I'm sorry! Really, I am.
drum class #3
[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now.]
It was drum class #3 today for me. It's getting more and more difficult as my tutor introduces me to more complex rhythms and expects me to play faster and harder. Made a fair bit of mistakes today due to my weaker left hand and spent quite some time practising until I got everything right. Hence, I didn't learn any new accents or non english words / phrases.
See my music book below. I can play all those continuously now and getting faster!
appetite. anime. movies. meteor garden.
[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now.]
I haven't had much appetite since that viral infection a couple of weeks ago. Something strange happened to me after that. I... I... I... have been eating a lot of veges since... Notorious for snapping at people who try to educate me on the importance of consuming veges, I actually have cravings for salads these days. I also suddenly developed an immense liking for porridge. So much so that I cooked this vegetarian porridge concoction of carrots, tomatoes, sweet corn, red dates and the red chinese herb thingy called 'Gou Ji Zi'. My colleagues gave me that look of disbelief and disgust: "This combination seems weird and should taste weird too!". But I happened to like the taste so much I've cooked it again for dinner today and lunch tomorrow!
I'm now awaiting Naruto Shipuuden ep42 and Bleach ep155. Bleach is getting boring... I'm also 6 episodes into Beck and 2 episodes into Basilisk. I may continue with Beck but am not that keen on Basilisk cos it's too bloody. But according to my colleague's brother-in-law who is a super otaku, Basilisk is a super good anime not to be missed. Not my type though, too much gore.
Watched I Am Legend. Not at the cinema but on my laptop. I did not have much expectations of the show cos of the negative feedback from my friends who've watched it. And I was quite impressed afterwards. By Will Smith's acting and his body. Oh and I really liked Sam. Cried a bit when Sam died.
I also took advantage of the tuesday movie night here (when a movie ticket costs you AUD9 instead of the normal AUD15.50) and caught Enchanted. It's totally a girly show. Super super girly and kiddy-ish. Fortunately for me, I just had to focus on Patrick Dempsey (the Doctor from Grey's Anatomy).
Oh and Hugh Jackman looks so yummy in Scoop!
My Polish friend gave me a few Jap dramas to pass my lonely nights alone at home. I randomly picked one titled Hana Dori Dango to start with and it turned out to be the Japanese version of Meteor Garden (流星花园)! Story is quite close to the Taiwanese version but the actors suck big time in the Jap version. They are all small boys and girls trying very hard to be cool (except for Nanako - THE Nanako in GTO). Never mind. I shall still endeavour to finish the entire series.
stubborn me
[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now. Some parts have been shortened. See original post for full entry.]
I was afk (away from keyboard) for a couple of hours and when back, i got a MSN message to buzz the person back.
The next few MSN messages made me tear a bit. They were most unexpected and I was extremely touched by the fact that there are more people around me who care than I thought there were.
My shoulders suddenly feel a bit lighter. And I don't dread the coming week as much now.
I suck at seeking help. I try not to if I can avoid doing it. It's similar to my stubbornness when it comes to refusing to see a doctor until I'm about half dead. Bleah.
drum class #2
[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now.]
Went for my second drum class today. Skipped a session last saturday as I didn't quite feel up to it.
Today my tutor made me do the double beats faster. My left hand proved to be much weaker than my right and according to him, I have a broken left hand. Bleah. I've got to do a lot of the rhythm drills before I see him again next week. He's gonna hit my head with the boom stand if I don't show improvement. Scary.
I also learnt basic drum fillers today. Fillers as in you know the dong dong tom tom DONG DONG TOM TOM CRASH!!!!!! all in one bar thing????
On the side, I learnt how to say 'do you understand' in italian - 'mee-ka-pish-see'. And 'si' for 'yes'.
Also learnt to say a few english words in various accents:
Further is 'foida' and three is 'tree' and thirty third is 'toity tod' with the brooklyn/jersey accent.
Coffee is 'cO-feee' and vanilla is 'van-Ella' with the new york accent.
on suicide. & i love them to bits.
[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now.]
I came across an entry by EnigmaticExistence (EE) on suicide. Suddenly I really feel like writing about suicide too.
For a long period of time, I was quite sensitive about the word 'suicide'. Very close friends knew that it was taboo to even mention anything related to it around me. I would wince and feel nauseous whenever I heard that word. Because it reminded me of the time when I had to identify my dad's body at the morgue.
I was in denial of the whole incident for years, not willing to accept that it happened. I managed to convince myself that the body I saw wasn't really his and that he just disappeared for a while to sort things out and will eventually come home one day.
I have come to terms with it since.... I can't remember exactly when. But I'm glad I can talk about it now without becoming all depressed. I am glad I can answer very matter-of-factly when people ask me about my dad. And I have stopped imagining him coming through the doors now. I dream of him a lot and I'm happy because I remember him and still love him. I have even forgiven him for the things he'd done to me, to us.
EE asked in his 'I want to kill myself' entry 'how many times have you thought of ending your life?'
It was many for me.
10 years ago. I was in depression over his death. I couldn't understand why he did it. I wanted to experience what he experienced. I wanted to think what he thought when he was standing on the parapet and to feel what he felt when he made the leap. I thought of jumping from the same spot he did.
8 years ago. I got dumped by someone and I couldn't earn enough from my part time job to pay for my uni fees and was extremely stressed by my family over the financials and the year end exams were happening all at the same time. I tried to slit my wrists. Actually I did cut the skin and see red, but it wasn't deep enough to be fatal.
3 years ago. I lost someone I shared a life with for 3 years (and again financially stressed cos of my bro's education). This was someone I loved so much I gave up my bank account and could have given up my life for. I thought of crashing my car into the expressway divider.
I've not had suicidal thoughts since.
In all of these instances, the only thing that stopped me was my responsibility to take care of my mum and bro.
I get all angry with them sometimes for constantly asking for money from me. I sometimes wish I have nothing to do with them. I sometimes say hateful things about them. But, I have come to realise I am actually happy to take care of them. I really am.
Someone recently asked me if I have a goal or ambition or purpose in life. I used to have big dreams in my younger days like own a beach resort or a hotel chain or something like that.
My childhood ambition was to be a doctor. That was why I took 3 pure sciences up until JC when my dad passed away. My grades were fantastic. But mum told me that we couldn't afford the education fees and they couldn't afford to wait 5 or 6 years for me to graduate and become a doctor. So I dropped the subjects and took up the path to business school in uni simply because that was the fastest, cheapest and easiest way.
When I joined the workforce in the banking and finance industry, I had big goals of climbing the corporate ladder. I worked long hours every single day of the week, public holidays included. A traffic accident that was fortunately not fatal made me realise how vulnerable life is. A medical examination that revealed poor liver and cholesterol levels also made me review my life choices.
Now, I live today for today, now for now. It does not matter if I do not earn a single million, if I do not become a GM or a CEO, if I do not have a big house or a flashy car in my lifetime. How do I know how long my lifetime is? I can jolly well die now due to a freak accident like choke on my own hair that somehow ended in my mouth when sleeping.
So I replied to this someone that I am the most bo chap (nonchalant? indifferent?) person you can know. That I've got no ambitions and no big dreams and no single big purpose in life and I don't care. And that sorry if that's not inspirational for her and not a good example for anyone.
I just want to do the things I like. And be happy. One of the things that makes me happy is knowing I can still provide for my family.
Today, I got another $3k bomb from my bro - exam fees. I remember sending a couple of grands back for semester fees just not many months ago. I am stressed at having to raise money again. (A quick calculation showed that I have sent back $15k for his education alone in the last 1.5years. I'm amazed at how good I am at coughing money out.) In fact, I am very stressed cos I only have one week to cough it out.
And I had a sudden realisation that I do have a purpose in life. (Not exactly as aimless, purposeless, nonchalant and indifferent as I'd made myself seem to be.) That's to take care of my family and make them happy. I miss them so much. And I love them to bits.
ps: i'm not feeling depressed now so don't worry, I won't go kill myself, yet. I'm just fuucking stressed. But well, this is nothing compared to what I've had to face before so hey, I think I won't be feeling suicidal for a long long long time to come.
babe-a-licious
[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now.]
Thanks to Isobel, my team's graphic designer.
nye
[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now. For full entry with photos, click here.]
I had a smashing NYE this year! What about you?
Up until 3pm on 31 Dec 2007, my plans were to head home, whip up some delicious pasta, and laze on the couch to await the live telecast of the fireworks on tv.
A friend just refused to allow me to waste the night alone at home. So we embarked on a most adventurous NYE.
First I had to dash to the city to get us tickets to enter one of the most happening clubs with a good view of the harbour so we can take home snapshots of the fireworks. I camped at the club for 2 hours and managed to buy one ticket of someone random on the streets and another ticket by pleading with the doormen, bouncers, waiters and manager.
My gal friend then went into a frenzy online to try to secure us a hotel room. And the had to bribe a taxi driver and beg 2 policemen so as to enter the city cos the streets were all closed. Hers was the only vehicle allowed through after all the sweet talking and that caused a loud uproar among the crowds.
We then drank and drank til midnight when we caught the breathtaking fireworks display. I then bribed the security guard with a photo and new year hug to let us into the pool area.
When we finally made our way to the club, the whole area was cordoned off and not a single person could even get near due to overcrowding. We walked along the entire fencing and even tried to bribe a cleaner sweeping the streets to let us in. We finally got in through one of the cracks along the fence and partied all the way close to 5am. It was madness.
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