drum class #1

[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now.]

Drum class was fun! My tutor is 80 years old and he is such a darling. He's really good and patient. According to him, I'm a quick study. He's already fast forwarded me a few lessons ahead and taught me some basic rhythms which he will be testing me on the next lesson.

He has students from all over the world and there's this little sheet of paper he displays behind the music score on the stand with short everyday phrases in many different languages. I learnt a few italian and french greetings as I hit on the drums.

I even learnt a new english word which is rather useful:

de·fen·es·trate (dē-fěn'ĭ-strāt')
To throw out of a window.

"I'm gonna test you on these rhythms next lesson and I'll defenestrate you if you get a single beat wrong."

drum class

[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now.]

Remember how I used to talk non stop about forming a band, learning the drums etc? I have finally gotten myself registered for drum classes! Private one-to-one lesson with this guy called Jack Savage, highly recommended by a friend who's also learning from him. One step closer to my dream of forming a band! Will update my learning progress here. First lesson starts this Saturday. Can't wait!

i whine

[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now.]

I quote naijiz: "When Jac sees a doctor, she must be so sick to the point where she thinks she's gonna die type." I usually have to be dragged to the doctor's. Number 1 reason being I think it's a waste of money. In most cases, I can diagnose my flu and self medicate.

It becomes another story when my throat is all red and swollen and talking becomes too painful (and I'm known for having a high pain threshold). When the infection reaches the stomach and causes you to spew. So I've got no choice but to run to the doc for antibiotics and some anti-vomit meds this time. Consultation alone was AUD45. Medicine was another AUD65.

I miss home the most when I'm this sick. My flat in Simei has a clinic just 3min walk away. Here in Sydney, I can't get to any clinic without a car. And there is no Mama here to take me.

No Mama here to cook porridge for me and remind me to take my medicine too. I've got no energy to cook anything so I survived yesterday on bread. But now that I'm spewing out everything I eat, I guess I can do without food for the time being.

Being the proud independent person I am, I most certainly don't ask for help unless absolutely necessary. I'll drive myself to the clinic if I have a car and run the risk of getting into an accident (when you're sick, you usually can't concentrate very well) which I think is a very irresponsible act, or take a taxi. I definitely cannot walk very far in my sick state. I'll make do with the rubbish food I have in the fridge or grab some instant porridge from the convenience store just downstairs. I'll set alarm to remind me of medication time. And whine online how shittty I feel and how much I wish I have someone to take care of me here.

2 days of mc, cannonball and orange

[Originally posted on my old moblog site. Republishing here now. For full entry with photos, click here.]

I'm having a bad throat infection and a fever that comes and goes, and listening to Cannonball, currently my favourite song on my iTunes playlist while I write about my trip to Orange.

Went to Orange (45min flight from Sydney) for a day of training with a few girls on Friday and spent Saturday driving around, stoning in cafes, dancing up a storm at a vineyard into the night and struggling to stay awake in the 3hours drive back to Sydney in the wee hours of the morning.

We met the worst jerks we ever met on our gals' night out to a pub on Friday night. It's a really long story and we've gotten so sick and tired of telling and re-telling it that we've kinda decided to write and post it here. But that would have to be a story for another day. I'm drifting into the zzz world due to my medication so it will just be a picture post this round. For more photos, click here.

Sidetrack: I wore the same t-shirt for 2 days and bumped into the same jerks the second day who immediately commented: "Hey you were wearing that last night!" That was embarrassing.

We were so lucky. The night of our arrival into Orange, there was a X'mas street party and fireworks!

lover's tattoo

[Originally posted in my moblog. Republishing here now.]

My lover bought me a tattoo! My x'mas pressie!



It's a really cool phoenix. (It's airbrushed on, not permanent. I'll only have it for about 2 weeks.)



Tonight is her last night here in Sydney. So we went for a nice sukiyaki dinner at Juju's. I also spent the day with her in Bondi - romantic walk in the rain along the beach.

x'mas party

[Originally posted in my moblog. Shortened and republished here now. Click here for full entry with photos.]

Just went for my company's christmas party on saturday. We booked the entire beer hall of this particular german restaurant and pub I frequent and 220 people from my company registered. I had loads of fun! (although there was a scary 10min I thought I was going to die of a heart attack - the palpitations again.)

Go to my multiply album for more pics. But sorry, there are tonnes of photos that cannot be published to the public. Email me separately for scandalous pics!

heartbeats

[Originally posted in my moblog. Republishing here now.]

A polish guy friend of mine just smsed me 'Oya-su-mi-na-sai'. Unexpected. Sweet.

I counted my heart beat today while seated down at my cubicle and it came up to 89 beats per min. That's almost 50% higher than normal rate at rest.

I think I should pick up another language. Korean? Jap? Continue my French?

I also should replace my guitar strings (one of them had snapped a while ago). Otherwise I'm never gonna learn the guitar.

If I go back to SG someday, I must go take up my drum class.

I desperately need to find a nice, cheap dress that covers and hides all the right places. X'mas party is just slightly more than a week away.

"i swear by my god allah"

[Originally posted in my moblog. Republishing here now.]

I almost triggered off a fight in a pub last night.

I used to frequent this pub and over time got the attention of some of the people working there, in particular this cleaner who goes around sweeping up broken glass through the night. He's Egyptian, looks really cute, and has a huge crush on me. Let's call him the Cute Egyptian Admirer (CEA).

Last night, I made friends with this huge group of asian guys (Chinese, ABCs, Koreans and Hongkies). My CEA stood watch over me in a far corner.

One of the asian guys got fairly drunk and started getting touchy. I pushed him away. He carried me up and I struggled free and gave him a warning. I decided I would give him a bloody punch in his face or a kick in his groin if he did anything funny again. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw that the bouncers were already preparing to troop over, but they must have seen how fierce I was towards the drunken guy that they decided I may not need their assistance after all. (sidetrack: if I was very high on alcohol, I think the guy may really get bashed up very badly by me. 2 guys couldn't pin me down when I got a bit out of control once long ago due to bak seju overdose haha it was actually quite funny thinking back now.)

Then I saw the super kan cheong look on CEA's face. And how he was in a ready-to-fight position. He had already stepped forward out of the shadows. I went over and joked with him to calm him. (so funny)

Me: Hey relax. He's just a bit drunk. He's all taken care of and I don't think he'll do anything funny for the rest of the night to incur my wrath. Haha.

CEA: That bastard! I really want to bash him up!

Me: Woah woah, everything's ok now. Why would you wanna bash him up over nothing?

CEA: Because I like you so I cannot allow him to bully you.

Me: Haha. You like me? Sure or not? I think you just wanna have sexx la. It's 2 different things you know.

CEA: No no! Not sex! Like! I swear by my god Allah!

He made me laugh.


At the end of the night, I got the mobile numbers of 3 chicks - 1 Sth Korean, 1 Vietnamese and 1 black (she is super sexy) from I forgot where. This Sth Korean chick asked me like 1 thousand times if I was a lesbian. And she took off her stockings and panties in front of me when we were alone outside the toilet. I quickly escaped. And she called me 3 times after that. Freaky.

Ok. So. I attract both sexes. ZZZ.

random stuff & misunderstood

[Originally posted in my moblog. Republishing here now.]

Before I go into what I wanted to write about proper, allow me to blabber a bit on some random stuff.

I haven't visited moblog in a long while and wah! falling snowflakes greeted me when I peeped in here! so nice! And the new search function is cool! I no longer have to scroll through hundreds of entries just to find that particular one. And wah! got autosave some more! *clap clap* moblog you have progressed well in my absence. *pat pat on the back*

I have been getting these really bad heart palpitations of late. I can feel my heart beating so rapidly and so forcefully that sometimes I thought I'll die from a seizure. I described once to my colleague the feeling as something squeezing my heart so tightly that it's struggling to break free by pumping harder and faster. I have had such experiences before, but only when I consume alcohol - think I blogged about this long ago. But it's definitely not linked to alcohol this time as I haven't been drinking for months. I have also ruled out caffeine and stress. The top suspect on the list now is chilli or overeating. Still monitoring. May drag my slowly expanding fat asss down to the doctor's someday when I cannot stand it anymore.

I realised I put on 5 - 7 kg since I came to Sydney 16 months ago. The last reading I got from a digital weighing machine was 57 kg *faint*. (Okay given that I am about 1.66m tall, I should be glad that I'm still in the 'acceptable weight' region.) But but but... I cannot allow myself to put on so much weight!!! Trying to shed a few kilos before my company's christmas party 2 saturdays from now altough I haven't really started on any actual weight loss programs yet. Ahhh... I'm a procrastinator.

Ok back to what prompted me to log in tonight. I wanted to write about how misunderstood I am (as usual, what's new?). Don't worry it's not the end of the world yet.

I remember writing similar entries on this a long long time ago. So things haven't changed eh? People are still people, be it sg or sydney.

Had several conversations with different people at different times and different settings recently and obtained insight on what they really think of me.

Stuck-up. Ms Know-it-all. Happy-go-lucky (remember the comedian entry?). Stress free. Don't take things seriously. Individualistic. Independent. Over confident. Came from rich family (--> this made me laugh).

These are some comments I got on me. Positive and negative. Not that it matters so much to me how people really think of me that I have to change myself to please anyone.

This is just how some people perceive me to be from their interactions with me. To be fair to them (and myself), they wouldn't have had opportunities to really get to know me. Being a person who doesn't open up readily just makes it even harder not to get misunderstood. But I'm perfectly fine with it. I really don't need to be thought of as an angel to be happy.

Only those who really get to know me in-depth will find out how different I am from what they have always thought me to be like. So far, in my stay in Sydney, there have only been one such lucky person who I think really understood me - my ex housemate who left to get married in sg. It's also weird how some know me so well just shortly after meeting me (this reminds me of naijiz who commented he could see sadness in my eyes just meeting me once and this maple friend whom I've never met commenting on my comedian role in life) and some just don't after years of acquaintance.

I don't deny that I am sometimes too this and too that for others' liking. That I sometimes behave as if nothing in the world fazes me. That I am invincible. That I am flippant. That I have a heart of stone. That I am coooooold. That I am a lot of things.

Well, it all comes down to perceptions. It's easy to form impressions and perceptions on people but hard to really get to know someone.

It's easy. If you know me, you know me. It's win-win for you and me. If you don't, you don't. And it's both our losses. Just don't act like you understand me when you don't. Cos that just instantly builds an invisible psychological barrier that prevents you from wanting to get to know me better and understand me and irritates the hell out of me.


ps: I'm tired. It's late and I need my sleep. I find myself unable to think and write coherently now so that's it. bleah.

mum's bday

My mum's bday is coming and I have no idea what I should get for her. It has to be something easy to mail back to sg, something she uses, and not too expensive. Anything below a hundred is fine (including postage).

My bro bought her a bag last year, so no bags this year.

Any suggestions?


ps: learnt a Polish word from my getting-cuter-and-cuter-100%-Polish-blood-but-born-and-bred-in-Sydney friend: Doh-Bra-Noz (Well he doesn't know the actual spelling but this is how you pronounce it) means Good Night! And guess what? He also taught me a few japanese words. Like Wa-ka-ri-nai for I don't understand. What is the world coming to? Hungarians teach English and give Japanese speeches in Japan, Polish teach Singaporean to speak Japanese etc.

kakashi vs sousuke

I used to go gaagaa over Kakashi Sensei. Even secretly wished my fav tudi would get me a life-sized Kakashi doll as my X'mas present 2 years ago. Come come, this is exclusively for your viewing pleasure. Ta-da! Sexy Kakashi Sensei with his sexaaaay abs and that pelvic line....




Now I have someone else to drool over (altho I have not completely forgotten about Kakashi Sensei). Sousuke from Full Metal Panic is such a M-A-N. Blur at times, shy at times, totally clueless at times to a girl's needs, I still RIKE. Especially when he's in his uniform.

beautiful dream

[Original entry posted here.]

I had a beautiful dream just before I woke up this morning.

I was with my fav tudi and beakee. We were in this cosy little 2-storey house. After a while of exploring the house, we suddenly realised it belonged to me!

There was an old wooden gate at the backyard. We opened it. A long winding path led to a wooden pier where you could find the occasional fisherman. The sun was setting right in front of us as we walked through the gate and it was really beautiful.

On the left of the pathway was a row of quaint old fashioned shops and cafes. On the right, a lagoon with waters so clear you'd want to jump in immediately.

And I thought it wasn't a bad idea to retire there. We gals were starting to get excited when I woke up. Spoiler!

I'm now going through all my photo archives to see if I can find suitable pics and photoshop them to try to replicate what I saw in my dream. I wanna remember it.

happy day alone

[Original entry posted here.]

Saturday. I decided I must reward myself by spending the day doing all the things that I like and always wanted to do.

I wanted to be alone. So I set off alone on my little excursion without telling anyone where I was going. I also wanted to avoid the dinner gathering that was to happen at my apartment. I don't always fancy such big group gatherings and especially if the topics are going to revolve round which school is best for my kids? which surburb's property should I buy? or what kind of financing am I looking at for my property purchase? etc. And I just happened to be in this I-wanna-be-left-alone mood these days.

First stop: KTV!!! I have been wanting to sing karaoke for ages but haven't been able to find a suitable k-partner since Ed left. And so I popped into Greenbox plus and sang for 2 hours nonstop. With nobody else to fight for the mike, I got to sing til I almost lost my voice.

I then spent a solid hour browsing through dvds, cds, etc deciding on what to get for my weekday after-work nightly entertainment. Eventually got 2 korean drama series - Spring Waltz and Autumn In My Heart. I had recently just finished watching Winter Sonata.

And I then happily went to buy a movie ticket for Resident Evil 3 - Extinction. Always a fan of Resident Evil although the game freaks me out.

I had 2 hours to kill before the show and went to satisfy this huge craving of mine for Ichi Ban Boshi's cheese ramen. Very satisfied. Very very.

It's actually very enjoyable spending the day alone. I think this is preferable to hanging out with people I don't really click with. I'm planning to hit a nice beach, sip some cappucino at a beachside cafe with a good book, maybe get a pack of ciggies (I've been getting these cravings for a smoke these nights and I'm not even a smoker!) and just laze the afternoon away next weekend.

open day at maryborough

[For the full entry with photos, read original post here.]

Rex had an open day last Saturday at Maryborough, somewhere north of Brisbane, a new outport we'll be flying to starting on 7 Oct 07. We took a specially chartered 2.5hours flight from Sydney to this cute little airport at Maryborough.

After a whole afternoon of peddling our corporate merchandise under the hot sun, I got my face painted cos I was jealous of all the kids out there with cool paintings done on their faces.



Here's me and Jo showing off our cheeks.



All in all, it was ok, but definitely not as fun as the Wagga Family Day I went last year.

reunion

[Original entry posted here.]

I logged in to Maple today after being away for more than a year and was reunited with my grandtudi murmur! (and she's still at level 43... like no progress leh... haha... luckily haven't surpass me!)

friday nights

[Original entry posted here.]

It's 5.28pm on a friday evening. Almost time to pack up, shut down my laptop, and leave the office. With nowhere to go. Shops everywhere will be closed. Nobody fun I'd like to ask out to hit the clubs. Nobody I'd want to ask out for karaoke.

I miss the friday nights back in SG when I'd rush home after work, nap, eat, bathe and get ready to paint the town red. No need for phone calls. No need to ask. Everyone that mattered would be there at wherever we used to hang out.

Our regular table would be reserved. Permanent reservation for me and my gang. Our favourite corner. Our favourite wine chilled and ready to be served. Our favourite songs on the waitlist to be played. Sometimes I would be queued for the pool table without me even having to be physically there.

What I would give to be able to just savour another such night.

where am i?

[Original entry posted here.]

I spent quite some time re-reading my past blog entries. Smiled at the silly dreams I had. The ones of Kakashi Sensei and the ninja dancing troop, of my ex-boss chasing after rabbits, of me being Angelina Jolie, an assassin paired up with Tom Cruise...

Laughed at the comical cartoons I drew. Of the pee-por-pee-por ambulance incident on the expressway, of sending the drunk Zest home in his manual car and jam braking for him to puke by the road, of the debate between Vin and myself on speed of taking the bus to the zoo vs jogging there, of the malu cheese spurting incident with a stranger woman...

Grinned at the maple adventures. The splurging of meso cash to makeover my character, the drawing of maple rose gang family tree, the extensive spreadsheet tracking my maple shop inventory and finances, the maple kids gatherings, the rivalry between airen tudi and bamboohorse, the multiple screenshots that tell ridiculous stories...

Teared at the depressing moments I had. Of being a comedian who hide my sorrows but keep those around me happy, of the immense stress I faced due to financial burdens, of getting drunk and abusing myself, of the nightmares linked to my Dad's death...

Scratched my head at some things I used to ponder and wonder but never had any clue. The whys and the hows and the what ifs. I still think and ponder and still have no idea...

Impressed by some deep stuff I wrote. Like the planning of my own funeral, the you asked and I answered entry on friendship, the continuation of Naijiz's great big fire poem...

Saddened by those rude comments made by people who mattered...

And so much more...

I used to have a sense of humour. I used to think and talk about life, was passionate about everything I did, and very involved in everything and everyone around me. There was this fire in me that was distinctly me.

Not quite sure what happened to that me, but I seemed to have become just another of the many empty shells so very commonly found. Not much thoughts, emotions, feelings.

It's so obvious, the entries I wrote back then and now, it's like I've changed into a completely different person. And I miss the old me. I miss everything I've had, the good and the bad, the joy and the tears, the laughter and the depression. At least I felt. Strongly.

Now I'm just numb.