embarking on the 'happily ever after' road

In the course of my travels to regional Australia for work, I got to catch up with an acquaintance I haven't bumped into in a while. When it came to updating each other about what we've been up to recently, of course I had to mention my guitar learning and Japanese classes. Then we talked about what we wanted to do but never had the time to and I rattled on excitedly about my grand plans to attend a proper photography school, maybe pick up French again from where I left it a decade ago, definitely keen to continue my drum class and learn to play the keyboard as well among many other interests.

For the life of me, I couldn't understand the response I got:
"OMG. Your life is so boring. You should get yourself a man. Then maybe you will find more meaning doing things for your man instead."

For a start, I couldn't believe how judgemental and stereotypical one can be; how in the world does 'pursuing one's interests' equate to 'not having a man' and how could she draw the conclusion that just simply because I can afford the time to do all these things that I don't have a man?

Is this how married or attached women feel nowadays - that an interesting life is defined by 1) whether they are in a marriage or relationship and 2) how much of their lives revolve around the partner? Are they all of the mentality that there is no need to upskill or improve themselves or pursue any hobbies since they have domestic activities such as cooking dinner for their men, housework, family planning stuff to keep them occupied? I think that this may be one of the top reasons why relationships or marriages break up: that women stagnate themselves and leech on to their men such that everything that once defined them has been put aside for the greater purpose of building their lives around their men.

Pardon me for my indignance but I happen to think that my life is full and rich and definitely far more interesting than these women who seem to think otherwise. I tend to believe a woman who's passionate about her own life instead of just letting someone else's dictate her own, is able to bring more to a relationship. From my experience, no one should build his/her life around another person's life. But rather, two separately meaningful lives on their own can synergise into one that's exponentially more endearing that binds them together.


In fact, the key sustenance to any emotional and intellectual connection between two people is the constant sharing of new experiences and knowledge. Without learning new things, embracing new ideas and exploring new activities both separately and as a couple, I wonder how far down the 'happily ever after' road they think their routine on the same old constants can take them.

6 comments:

beakee said...

sorry but that person sounds like the type who thinks life is basically to find a husband to be a slave to. just can't believe "more meaning doing things for your man instead". WTF?? i only know 2 people may not be together forever, but you WILL have yourself for the rest of your life. pls2ignore the twit.

Sunshine23 said...

Totally agree with you angel!!
Don't understand women like that but well, we do need "them" around to balance off the universe too right? keke..

Xuan-er said...

oh my, i think that person prob is like that n prob had not got the chance to lead the INTERESTING life of doing things not for the man.

but whatever, what is good for her may not be for her..so *shrug*

o8ight said...

i guess balance is the key

and that regional people just have different cultures from us urbaite city dwellers; what they need to do may not be to stop being husband slaves, but maybe get out and see the world more to know there are real humans out there

monkeycrab said...

HAH, that woman is not from the country... I just happened to bump into her on my way to the bush...

fav tudi said...

vehement but well put!