heartbeats

[Originally posted in my moblog. Republishing here now.]

A polish guy friend of mine just smsed me 'Oya-su-mi-na-sai'. Unexpected. Sweet.

I counted my heart beat today while seated down at my cubicle and it came up to 89 beats per min. That's almost 50% higher than normal rate at rest.

I think I should pick up another language. Korean? Jap? Continue my French?

I also should replace my guitar strings (one of them had snapped a while ago). Otherwise I'm never gonna learn the guitar.

If I go back to SG someday, I must go take up my drum class.

I desperately need to find a nice, cheap dress that covers and hides all the right places. X'mas party is just slightly more than a week away.

"i swear by my god allah"

[Originally posted in my moblog. Republishing here now.]

I almost triggered off a fight in a pub last night.

I used to frequent this pub and over time got the attention of some of the people working there, in particular this cleaner who goes around sweeping up broken glass through the night. He's Egyptian, looks really cute, and has a huge crush on me. Let's call him the Cute Egyptian Admirer (CEA).

Last night, I made friends with this huge group of asian guys (Chinese, ABCs, Koreans and Hongkies). My CEA stood watch over me in a far corner.

One of the asian guys got fairly drunk and started getting touchy. I pushed him away. He carried me up and I struggled free and gave him a warning. I decided I would give him a bloody punch in his face or a kick in his groin if he did anything funny again. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw that the bouncers were already preparing to troop over, but they must have seen how fierce I was towards the drunken guy that they decided I may not need their assistance after all. (sidetrack: if I was very high on alcohol, I think the guy may really get bashed up very badly by me. 2 guys couldn't pin me down when I got a bit out of control once long ago due to bak seju overdose haha it was actually quite funny thinking back now.)

Then I saw the super kan cheong look on CEA's face. And how he was in a ready-to-fight position. He had already stepped forward out of the shadows. I went over and joked with him to calm him. (so funny)

Me: Hey relax. He's just a bit drunk. He's all taken care of and I don't think he'll do anything funny for the rest of the night to incur my wrath. Haha.

CEA: That bastard! I really want to bash him up!

Me: Woah woah, everything's ok now. Why would you wanna bash him up over nothing?

CEA: Because I like you so I cannot allow him to bully you.

Me: Haha. You like me? Sure or not? I think you just wanna have sexx la. It's 2 different things you know.

CEA: No no! Not sex! Like! I swear by my god Allah!

He made me laugh.


At the end of the night, I got the mobile numbers of 3 chicks - 1 Sth Korean, 1 Vietnamese and 1 black (she is super sexy) from I forgot where. This Sth Korean chick asked me like 1 thousand times if I was a lesbian. And she took off her stockings and panties in front of me when we were alone outside the toilet. I quickly escaped. And she called me 3 times after that. Freaky.

Ok. So. I attract both sexes. ZZZ.

random stuff & misunderstood

[Originally posted in my moblog. Republishing here now.]

Before I go into what I wanted to write about proper, allow me to blabber a bit on some random stuff.

I haven't visited moblog in a long while and wah! falling snowflakes greeted me when I peeped in here! so nice! And the new search function is cool! I no longer have to scroll through hundreds of entries just to find that particular one. And wah! got autosave some more! *clap clap* moblog you have progressed well in my absence. *pat pat on the back*

I have been getting these really bad heart palpitations of late. I can feel my heart beating so rapidly and so forcefully that sometimes I thought I'll die from a seizure. I described once to my colleague the feeling as something squeezing my heart so tightly that it's struggling to break free by pumping harder and faster. I have had such experiences before, but only when I consume alcohol - think I blogged about this long ago. But it's definitely not linked to alcohol this time as I haven't been drinking for months. I have also ruled out caffeine and stress. The top suspect on the list now is chilli or overeating. Still monitoring. May drag my slowly expanding fat asss down to the doctor's someday when I cannot stand it anymore.

I realised I put on 5 - 7 kg since I came to Sydney 16 months ago. The last reading I got from a digital weighing machine was 57 kg *faint*. (Okay given that I am about 1.66m tall, I should be glad that I'm still in the 'acceptable weight' region.) But but but... I cannot allow myself to put on so much weight!!! Trying to shed a few kilos before my company's christmas party 2 saturdays from now altough I haven't really started on any actual weight loss programs yet. Ahhh... I'm a procrastinator.

Ok back to what prompted me to log in tonight. I wanted to write about how misunderstood I am (as usual, what's new?). Don't worry it's not the end of the world yet.

I remember writing similar entries on this a long long time ago. So things haven't changed eh? People are still people, be it sg or sydney.

Had several conversations with different people at different times and different settings recently and obtained insight on what they really think of me.

Stuck-up. Ms Know-it-all. Happy-go-lucky (remember the comedian entry?). Stress free. Don't take things seriously. Individualistic. Independent. Over confident. Came from rich family (--> this made me laugh).

These are some comments I got on me. Positive and negative. Not that it matters so much to me how people really think of me that I have to change myself to please anyone.

This is just how some people perceive me to be from their interactions with me. To be fair to them (and myself), they wouldn't have had opportunities to really get to know me. Being a person who doesn't open up readily just makes it even harder not to get misunderstood. But I'm perfectly fine with it. I really don't need to be thought of as an angel to be happy.

Only those who really get to know me in-depth will find out how different I am from what they have always thought me to be like. So far, in my stay in Sydney, there have only been one such lucky person who I think really understood me - my ex housemate who left to get married in sg. It's also weird how some know me so well just shortly after meeting me (this reminds me of naijiz who commented he could see sadness in my eyes just meeting me once and this maple friend whom I've never met commenting on my comedian role in life) and some just don't after years of acquaintance.

I don't deny that I am sometimes too this and too that for others' liking. That I sometimes behave as if nothing in the world fazes me. That I am invincible. That I am flippant. That I have a heart of stone. That I am coooooold. That I am a lot of things.

Well, it all comes down to perceptions. It's easy to form impressions and perceptions on people but hard to really get to know someone.

It's easy. If you know me, you know me. It's win-win for you and me. If you don't, you don't. And it's both our losses. Just don't act like you understand me when you don't. Cos that just instantly builds an invisible psychological barrier that prevents you from wanting to get to know me better and understand me and irritates the hell out of me.


ps: I'm tired. It's late and I need my sleep. I find myself unable to think and write coherently now so that's it. bleah.

mum's bday

My mum's bday is coming and I have no idea what I should get for her. It has to be something easy to mail back to sg, something she uses, and not too expensive. Anything below a hundred is fine (including postage).

My bro bought her a bag last year, so no bags this year.

Any suggestions?


ps: learnt a Polish word from my getting-cuter-and-cuter-100%-Polish-blood-but-born-and-bred-in-Sydney friend: Doh-Bra-Noz (Well he doesn't know the actual spelling but this is how you pronounce it) means Good Night! And guess what? He also taught me a few japanese words. Like Wa-ka-ri-nai for I don't understand. What is the world coming to? Hungarians teach English and give Japanese speeches in Japan, Polish teach Singaporean to speak Japanese etc.

kakashi vs sousuke

I used to go gaagaa over Kakashi Sensei. Even secretly wished my fav tudi would get me a life-sized Kakashi doll as my X'mas present 2 years ago. Come come, this is exclusively for your viewing pleasure. Ta-da! Sexy Kakashi Sensei with his sexaaaay abs and that pelvic line....




Now I have someone else to drool over (altho I have not completely forgotten about Kakashi Sensei). Sousuke from Full Metal Panic is such a M-A-N. Blur at times, shy at times, totally clueless at times to a girl's needs, I still RIKE. Especially when he's in his uniform.